What part do I play?

When we imagine ourselves deep in the forest, it can be hard to tell whether we’re a tree, the soil, or the weather. Woah, deep thoughts. But seriously, this week’s question prompts us to reflect on our roles.

Rather than thinking big and abstract, this question like so many others works better when we get specific.

Think about a current situation at work, in your neighborhood, or at home that’s not going your way.

What’s happening? Who are all the characters or factors involved? What part are you playing?

What would you like to be happening instead?

Of that, what’s in your control?

Focusing only on what you can change, how might you show up differently?

In some ways, this exercise could be viewed as a strategy for manipulating others to get what you want. I like to think about it differently. Instead, I think this is a way to be more intentional about how we show up.

The key question here is: what’s in your direct control?

One of the most disappointing and freeing realizations we can have in any situation is to remember that the only thing we can control is ourselves-- how we feel and act. As much as we’d sometimes like, it’s never controlling how other people feel and act.

It’s disappointing- especially if you’re someone that prides yourself on taking charge and making things happen.

It’s also freeing when you realize that you don’t have to take responsibility for the entire world and everything that comes with it.

Having a clear idea of who you are and what you want to contribute is all you need.